Safety First

Having to wait for the bus is a frequent, but mostly uneventful exercise. This time, I had missed the bus from Pittsburgh Int'l Airport to the city by a couple of minutes. I decided to wait outside. The sun was shining, and temperatures were less chilly than I had expected. A couple of meters away from the airport building, I sat down on a small piece of lawn, stared into the sun and studied a Pittsburgh city map. It was surprisingly quiet. Just one or another shuttle bus passed by occasionally.

Then a gruff voice interrupted my daydreaming.

“Excuse me, Sir, what are you doing here?”

In front of me, a police car had stopped. Judging from the huge letters on its side, it came from Allegheny County. Nice name. However, a short-haired officer with big sunglasses was leaning over the passenger seat and addressing me in a stern and intimidating manner.

“I am waiting for the bus to downtown.”, I replied.

“The bus stop is over there!”, he exclaimed, pointing towards the bus stop signpost, which was some 30 meters away.

I could not deny that he was right about this.

“I have to wait anwyay, and I thought I could as well sit in the sun.”

Beckett's tramps Vladimir and Estragon in "En attendant Godot" would have been proud of me. The police officer wasn't. True, his voice got a bit less harsh, but he compensated for this by his audible amazement.

“Where in the world are you from?”, he asked me with an incredulous air.

“Germany.”

“Ah, Germany.”, he repeated, probably uncertain whether he should hold that for or against me. The stereotype of Germans as lawful and rule-loving creatures might have counted in my favor, the association with bizarre porn movies and nude sunbathing not.

“In Germany, sitting in the sun is considered acceptable”, I said, trying to give myself an innocent and somewhat naïve air.

“Well, you are not doing anything illegal... but I must watch out for anything suspicious... and there are you, sitting on the lawn without an apparent reason, looking at a map...!”

He left it to me to complete the inference.

The thing was getting tricky. Not because I had done anything wrong, but because I was close to start laughing. Already, I could hardly conceal the grin on my face. Lesson #1: never make fun of an American police officer.

“I understand”, I said, trying to look as composed and serious as possible. “You are only doing your job.”

Probably, this was a clever answer. Every police officer likes to defer responsibilities to rules and superiors. Making clear that I was not bearing a grudge against him personally would bring me closer to my goal.

“Yeah, indeed, that's it. Now, Sir, you may continue to sit there.”

“Thank you very much, Sir.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

And off he went, protecting the security of American citizens.